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Exposed: who are the people who actually read our newspapers and blogs?

Sat 2011-Apr-2 @ +08 04:06:44 am

by hacker appleby bernard kerismudin,
donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for MSM and Blog affairs

  • Utusan is read by people who think they have a God given right to run the country forever and a day.
  • Sin Chew is read by people who think they ought to run the country.
  • NST is read by people who actually do run the country.
  • STAR is read by people who wish Penang ran the country.
  • Borneo Times is read by people who wish the Penan and Bruno Manser ran the country.
  • Sarawak Tribune is read by people who think the Brown Rajahputras from West Malaysia run the country.
  • Tatler is read by the wives of the people who run the country.
  • Business Times is read by the people who actually own the country.
  • Nanyang is read by people who think the country ought to be run by Singapore and/or China, Berita Harian thinks it is, while the Nesan thinks it ought to be Tamil Nadu and/or India!
  • Harakah is read by people who think God and Saudi Arabia should run the country.
  • Sun is read by people who think the country ought to be run by Citizen Nades with advertising revenue and no taxes.
  • The Selangor Times is read by people, both of them, who think Klang Valley residents constitute the entire country and run it.
  • What about the people who read The Mail? Mail readers don’t care who runs the country, as long as he or she’s got big fondleable tits and is allegedly involved in a sex or financial scandal involving DSAI, Opposition party members, Tim Rais Lloyd Webber, Screwties Commission CEO Czarina Anwar Ibrahim or about a lawsuit filed by the New State Parsley Sage Rosemary Thighmes dishrag against them. Lol!

Wait! Don’t go away!

MORE: » The lowdown on
Blogs and Blog Readers…

*Actually, a second-hand exclusive. Sakmongkol lifted it first. But the original is at donplaypuks
**Phew! No one reads ‘uppercaise’. What a relief!
  1. Sat 2011-Apr-2 @ +08 11:16:54 am 11:16


    I actually check out Uppercaise every day and have commented here on severla occassions.

    But, as it’s a relatively new kid on the block have not got the finger on who exactly your readers are.

    Anyway, thanks for the support. Appreciate it very much.

    • uppercaise permalink*
      Sat 2011-Apr-2 @ +08 14:03:42 pm 14:03

      No worries, I have tongue firmly in cheek most days.

    • uppercaise permalink*
      Sun 2011-Apr-3 @ +08 02:27:27 am 02:27

      i figure “uppercaise” is read by cool, urbane, sophisticated LOLcats passing through on their way to a free lunch: they know no one’s really running the country.

  2. Patrick permalink
    Sat 2011-Apr-2 @ +08 11:41:15 am 11:41

    Put a smile on my face this morning. Bloody funny work.

    • uppercaise permalink*
      Sun 2011-Apr-3 @ +08 02:18:04 am 02:18

      say thanks to donplaypuks by visiting his blog.

  3. Sat 2011-Apr-2 @ +08 12:33:25 pm 12:33

    **Phew! No one reads ‘uppercaise’. What a relief!

    That’s what you think…

    • uppercaise permalink*
      Sun 2011-Apr-3 @ +08 02:20:39 am 02:20

      ah you mean the two gnomes at the bottom of the world: they read all kinds of things, including things that are not there.

  4. vasantha permalink
    Sat 2011-Apr-2 @ +08 20:05:40 pm 20:05

    Uppercaise, I think you are very forthright. I do enjoy reading your posts. seems to be a lot not right these days. Are we on the road to moral corruption. Interlock issue is fast creating angry James Dean like young ‘rebels’. I find it revolting to read about sex escapade revelations. Teoh’s death is still not solved. The lurid details of the behavior of the investigating officials is appalling. Media has a sacred duty to help correct the ills that plague a nation. A responsible newspaper must have a stand that could stand up to high standards of journalism and ethics.

  5. siew eng permalink
    Tue 2011-Apr-5 @ +08 08:08:00 am 08:08

    uppercaise is read by people who used to work for the mouthpieces of those run the country.

  6. calculus permalink
    Wed 2011-Apr-6 @ +08 08:08:03 am 08:08

    occasionally i eat my own ear wax and then for kicks later make bubbles that could really defy gravity and float with my thick no-nonsense saliva. hey i read your blog man.

    • uppercaise permalink*
      Wed 2011-Apr-6 @ +08 19:23:37 pm 19:23

      there, I knew it! you’re a cool, urbane sophisticated LOLcat!

  7. farha permalink
    Wed 2011-Apr-6 @ +08 16:29:09 pm 16:29

    hahaha! my dad reads NST, hubby reads The Star, grandparents read Harakah, my bros read Malay Mail…
    Me? I flip through The Sun occassionaly…and I read blogs, more so yours 😀

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