Jon Snow’s brilliant winning strategy
How he won the Battle of the Bastards
EXCLUSIVE INSIDER DETAILS!
How they planned the battle!
NEVER BEFORE REVEALED! Details of Jon Snow’s battle conference before the Battle of the Bastards, by which he recaptured the castle from Bolton Wanderers:
Right lads, gather round.
“First, I’m gonna do the John Wayne thing against the savages. Then we all do the French at Agincourt, but in reverse.”
What will Bolton be doing?
“He’ll do the English at Agincourt and at Crecy, but in reverse. Then he’ll do the Rourke’s Drift, the Massed Phalanx, and the Roman Square with the pointy things, all at once.”
Oh. Well, how will we win?
“We wait and do the Little Big Horn.”
Yes, but when do we win?
“When we’re down to nothing, my sister will do Blucher in the woods. It’s Waterloo in reverse.
Do you know that she’s coming?
“We’ll find out later.”
“Right. Off I go. See you in the butcher’s pit.”
AND THAT’S HOW THEY WON. BRILLIANT.